That about sums it up.Because, what s the point to these anecdotes Are you trying to tell me something Mr Sedaris I think not You think you re funny Meh, not that funny Special You re not that special either You re a writer, just another writer What s the big deal As I said, I don t care much for your little stories Seriously, my dear, I don t give a damn. I ve been thinking a lot about this, and I have come to the conclusion that David Sedaris is one of the worst human beings in history, i.e., since human beings were first invented by an incompetent, Jerry Lewis like god or by the inscrutable permutations of natural phenomena This isn t a moral judgment It s like when someone tells you that you have spinach stuck in your teeth It s both the mere reportage of a fact and a public service Because, after all, you wouldn t want to walk around all day with spinach in your teeth, and you wouldn t want to spend your life mistakenly thinking that David Sedaris wasn t evil and unfunny Maybe I hate David Sedaris so much abstractly not with the visceral hatred I have for Mariah Carey because I imagine all of these young straight couples in J Crew worsted wool sweaters throwing back their heads like Mrs Howell, laughing at his weak but fashionable humor Maybe they re in their Toyota Highlanders driving out to Restoration Hardware to look at the brushed steel knobs and the faux Victorian gewgaws Have you been to Oak Brook They probably live there and have heated floor tiles and towel warmers in their bathroom The women all look like cut rate Carolyn Bessette Kennedys before the plane crash , and the men look like the guy getting married in The Hangover David Sedaris is an entry level gay for these people, right They re all liberal, sure, but out in Oak Brook their gay contacts are limited to the service industry The housewares clerk at Lord Taylor, the hairdresser, or that one swishy waiter at Maggiano s who s stingy with the bread basket You know, the usual A Team of tanned men with shaved forearms and hyperreal hairdos What I am saying is that David Sedaris is a nice accessory Sure, your grandparents might find some of his humor off color or distasteful, but in the age of Sarah Silverman he s almost quaint Anal sex and its intimations take on a Bombeckian glow in his hands And that kerrunk, kerrunk sound you hear is Jean Genet rolling over in his grave and masturbating on a pile of his own feces.There are currently twenty one people on my friends list who have rated this book Only two have assigned it fewer than three stars Defend yourselves, bourgeois scum I mean that affectionately You probably thought Bob Saget was funny on America s Funniest Home Videos too, didn t you Witty, wry, bitter, delightful.My mom gave me the book I was living in France at the time, so she thought David Sedaris and I would have a ton in common She went to a Sedaris booksigning to get a personalized message to her gay son in France After he was done reading, she jumped up to get him to write a note to me, David My son is gay He s living in France right now, please sign this copy for him He had already started an orderly signing process, going down the rows He looked at her disgustedly and intoned, I ll get to you He then skipped her row and did all the others first, making everyone in her row hate her imagine the wrath of a row of David Sedaris fans ouch When he finally got to her last he said, name and she started her story about me Tim He s 17 and he s gay and he s been living in France this year, so if you could put something about France He handed her book back, not having heard anything past my name, instead writing some witty thing with bad grammar that played off the book s title When I returned from France, my mother gave me the book but had lost all respect for the author It s a good book but he was a complete asshole, she said.My mother s experience aside, I m sure Sedaris is not actually a soulless, cruel person If you want a light read by a smart, gay cynic, this is a great book. Me talk Pretty one day, David Sedaris 1956 Me Talk Pretty One Day, published in 2000, is a bestselling collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris The book is separated into two parts The first part consists of essays about Sedaris s life before his move to Normandy, France, including his upbringing in suburban Raleigh, North Carolina, his time working odd jobs in New York City, and a visit to New York from a childhood friend and her bumpkinish girlfriend The second section, Deux , tells of Sedaris s move to Normandy with his partner Hugh, often drawing humor from his efforts to live in France without speaking the French language and his frustrated attempts to learn it Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the Public Radio International program, This American Life 2013 1391 234 5 21 5 14 9786002291134 21 David Sedaris Move To Paris From New York Inspired These Hilarious Pieces, Including The Title Essay, About His Attempts To Learn French From A Sadistic Teacher Who Declares That Every Day Spent With You Is Like Having A Caesarean Section His Family Is Another Inspiration You Can T Kill The Rooster Is A Portrait Of His Brother, Who Talks Incessant Hip Hop Slang To His Bewildered Father And No One Hones A Finer Fury In Response To Such Modern Annoyances As Restaurant Meals Presented In Ludicrous Towers Of Food And Cashiers With Six Inch Fingernails Sedaris is a quirky kind of writer I needed a palate cleanser after the last few heavy reads and this one delivered From a betrayal of the tongue which required speech therapy , to a midget music teacher and some various comical moments in his life, his memoir had me chuckling out loud and talking about it to whomever was in the room But alas, a third of the way in, it read like a rant and I quickly became bored What began as a breath of fresh air became stale but did give a final gasp at the end First two thirds razor sharp last 3rd, kind of dull For that I m rating this 3.5 Ah My first David Sedaris read not counting the weird Squirrel book and I finally understand what all the fuss is about The humor is so good it s mesmerizing I m in awe of his ability to make ordinary life sparkle through such rich narration.There is no mundane task that Sedaris cannot do without dazzling the reader Anything and everything is cause for social commentary and uproarious observation From learning to play the guitar to going to the movies to an unusually large turd floating in the toilet, he finds opportunity to poke fun at the world, poke fun at himself, and combine various events into unforgettable knee slapping comedy.Truly a landmark, I totally get why this book continues to endure nearly 20 years later It is an instant classic that belongs just behind Mark Twain, if not dare I say in front. If I were in someone else s bathroom and there were no other reading materials except for something by David Sedaris, I would pick it up and flip through it I probably would even find myself slightly amused But my basic opinion about David Sedaris which is that he is boring, not very funny, mean and bitchy, and too lazy to write a novel would remain unchanged Remember when people who had fucked up or interesting lives drew on their personal experiences to create artful, often symbolic stories that speak to some kind of greater human existence Remember when people basically only wrote their autobiography after they had accomplished many other notable things in their life At the very least, one would use the events of their life to address some important social issue.Among others, we have David Sedaris to thank for ushering in the age of this crappy, voyeristic autobiography sub genre that is basically the print version of reality tv So somebody has a weird, dysfunctional family So do most of us It s really not that interesting The title of the book is pretty lame Did you really talk like that, David No, I don t think you did I think you were just a middle class gay kid who lisped, got sent to speech therapy for it, and then wanted to pretend that you were marginalized than you actually were.Also, his sister is way funnier than he is. Another collection of Sedaris tales as we have come to know and love His cynical banter and humorous anecdotes shine again While some might say the same old formula gets old, with Sedaris it is expected and greatly appreciated I even heard he changed the formula in a recent book and it was not well received I listened to the audio and love hearing the words from the mouth of the author His delivery and timing are perfect which I suppose is to be expected as they are his words, but not every author can read their words as well as they write It is great how he can make every mundane activity an entertaining anecdote.If you like a little humorous getaway, check out this and other Sedaris books. .