Looming war threatens all Feyre holds dear in the third volume of the 1 New York Times bestselling A Court of Thorns and Roses seriesFeyre has returned to the Spring Court determined to gather information on Tamlin's manoeuvrings and the invading king threatening to bring Prythian to its knees But to do so she must play a deadly game of deceit – and one slip may spell doom not only for Feyre but for her world as wellAs war bears down upon them all Feyre must decide who to trust amongst the dazzling and lethal High Lords – and hunt for allies in unexpected places In this thrilling third book in the 1 New York Times bestselling series from Sarah J Maas the earth will be painted red as mighty armies grapple for power over the one thing that could destroy them all


10 thoughts on “A Court of Wings and Ruin

  1. 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    202That’s the number of times that the word “mate” in any of its hellish forms is used in this bookTWOHUNDREDANDTWOhttpsemmareadstoomuchwordpresscoThat statistic alone should be enough to justify this one star rating If you feel satisfied enough to just remove yourself from this review run with that feeling Because I have like Seven pages of sht to complain aboutThat’s if I’m efficientAnd I’ve never been an efficient reviewer Once In my life I counted two hundred and two uses of a word over seven hundred pages That shouldn’t scream “rational and in control of her passionate fury” to youSo buckle up buttercup We’ve got some categories to run through DISCLAIMER This review is teeming with spoilers It is also X rated due to the strength of my anger and the copious sex scenes in the source materialI HATE THESE CHARACTERSRhys makes me cringe harder than Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones’ Diary At least that movie has both Colin Firth and Hugh Grant to distract me from Renee viciously critiquing her own body and like spilling coffee all over herself or whatever He is capable of two actions like a mildly impressive Ken doll 1 sex person and 2 valiant hero trying to kill himself in the name of his friends constantly Either he is full on fcking Feyre sick alliteration Emma or he must be actively prevented from jumping in front of poisoned weapons with the half hearted motivation of Heroism To Save My Family even if it’s not at all clear why doing this would save them because whatever none of the plans in this book make a lick of sense anywayBecause as if this book weren’t fun enough it rivals the Fast and the Furious franchise for use of the my real family is the one I made not the one I was born with clichéLike Rhys Feyre also manages to find time in her packed schedule of sex scenes and repetitive dialogue to be incredibly incontrovertibly dumb For example when she traps Ianthe and ties her up or whatever she spends an unbelievable amount of time indulging an evil villain revenge rant Just enough time for her to be CAUGHT BY THE DAEMATI a Cassandra Clare esque douchey term that pretty much means “species of bad guy” to the best of my recollection So much of this book was me silently screamingSpeaking of the aforementioned schedule it’s no wonder that that thing Feyre used to do called “painting” is dropped like a hot potato She never does it but it’s mentioned a handful of times in the beginning of the book And then forgotten And then suddenly almost at the merciful end of this suffering “The movement so perfect that I knew I’d one day paint it” We’re still pretending that Feyre paints? Between the same diverse selection of identical sex scenes identical training scenes identical war discussion scenes I don’t think she has time for something so banal as a singular interest or hobby Idk if we’ll have time I think she’ll have to get to third base with Rhys in a perfumed bath laterAt least Feyre is brave and strong though Which is why she’s “too tired” to do anything after a loooong day of watching other people fight in a battle followed by Mor winnowing her home So courageous How does she do itPlus she’s a brilliant friend Which is why when Morrigan confronts her for lying leaving making her and everyone else fear she has died and also making Mor responsible for it Feyre’s response is “OH YA??? WELL YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON AZRIEL”Truly a depiction of a powerful woman for the agesAnd I don’t get Lucien’s appeal Do we like him out of the same reason we like Draco? I’m saying “we” as if I like either of those characters Is it an omg he’s just trying to do right he didn’t know any better type situation? Because Draco is a child trying to impress a father who doesn’t love him and I still don’t totally buy that I’m still not a Draco fan And Tamlin is not Lucien’s daddy althoughmaybe a interesting book if he wereCassian and Azriel are both flat and boring Amren is characterized so inconsistently that it’s impossible for me to know whether I like her or not I’m going to say “not” seems like a safer bet Nesta is almost cool but the whole I Am Mean And Hard And Damaged thing goes too far And Elain just floats around and lets things happen to herMorrigan never all that interesting now just represents the worst bisexuality rep I’ve ever readIt’s never a good sign when you’re praying for characters to die in battle just so you can catch a fcking breakBut guess what None of them doTHE WRITING SUCKS ON BOTH A COPYEDITING LEVEL AND A SUBSTANTIVE LEVELI truly believe that whatever team of sad sacks was assigned to copyedit this book was physically unable to attentively read it And I cannot blame them But it does allow for some hilarious mistakes to make it through these dull dull pages Example “She did not avert her eyes from the Morrigan” That pesky “the” makes her seem like a pro wrestler or someone with a fun nickname rather than the personification of the worst bi rep ever to grace young adult pages But we’ll get to thatThere are so many ellipses and dashes and italicizations andother ways of breaking up the TEXT that it actually gave me motion sickness On top of everything else this book has made me suffer throughMaybe if a copyeditor had found the strength to make it through this book they could have stopped the way SJM insists on using the term “Hybern” IT MEANS SO MANY THINGS “Hybern” is used as the nomer of the evil king the word for his people the name of his kingdom and the title of the land it’s situated on That is justbasic bad worldbuilding no? Also a monster creature thing described as having no eyelids narrows its eyes This inspired a fifteen minute long discussion with my roommates on whether eyes can narrow without eyelids We came to a unanimous consensus no they cannotAlso as Val pointed out in her amazing review of this book the words “vulgar gesture” are used over And over And over again WHAT DO THESE USES MEAN WHY DO THEY CONSTANTLY INSPIRE LAUGHTER IN WHATEVER GLORIFIED PROP CHARACTER WHO HAPPENS TO BE NEARBY IS THIS TACTIC SUPPOSED TO REPLACE ACTUAL JOKES OR BANTER? Because it doesn’t It just makes me angry and also confused which makes me even angrierAnd who thought that was even possibleWHAT IS THIS ATTEMPT AT HIGH FANTASY LANGUAGEExcept then y’know Rhys and Feyre and the Gang are also so hip and cool and up to date that this book uses the word “fuckable” a word so slang y that my laptop recognizes it as a typo for “suckable” or “faceable” whatever the hell those words areOtherwise the only other remarkable attempt at making this any different from the way humans speak in 2017 the use of the word “male”Women are sometimes called “females” in this but are also called women and girls and whatnot Men on the other hand are absolutely only called males There’s an amazing moment when SJM refers to Rhys as a man and then instantly like corrects herself So it reads on the page as “man male ”It makes no sense I love itIt’s truly the little thingsTHE END OF THIS BOOK IS JUST A LISTING OF CLICHESAs the war we’ve waited for finally arrives and so does the time for motivational speeches and tragic goodbyes and other things that fail to make me feel something SJM loses it entirelyNearly every line of dialogue in this section is just a cliché and so I will copy and paste them here for your perusal and accompanying amusement “Leave this worlda better place than how you found it”“One life may change the world”“I believe everything happens for a reason”“It is the family you make not the one you are born into that matters”“Light can be found even in the darkest of hells”“The great joy and honor of my life has been to know you”“I wasn’t sure if in the entire history of Illyria there had ever been such a discussion”So bad And therefore so goodLET’S LAUGH AT DUMB THINGSThe moments when this may or may not be attempting to instill some sort of entertainment or amusement in its reader do not work at all Luckily we have something much better Really dumb stuff It is much fun and nourishing to the very soul like a bowl of chicken soup so pretty much the series of books “Chicken Soup for the Soul” to laugh at something unintentional and dumb than it is to laugh at a cheap joke This is why the show America’s Funniest Home Videos has been on for twenty eight seasons and like a thousand interchangeable bad sitcoms are canceled every yearFor example this passage Feyre and Rhysand are apart blah blah blah it’s the tragedy of the century or millennium since these boring ass people live for infinity because there is no justice in this world Unsurprisingly they use their mind control powers for a saintly motivation sexting Which is already so hilarious But it gets even better because “I sent back an image of me sticking out my tongue at him My clothes were back on when his answer arrivedLike mine it was wordless a mere image Like mine Rhysand’s tongue was outBut it was occupied with doing something else”I choose to interpret this statement the same way a middle schooler interprets the existence of performer Marilyn Manson based on a shady rumor he once heard about a surgery to remove three ribs I believe that this is incontrovertible evidence that Rhysand can suck his own dck WHAT ELSE COULD HE POSSIBLY BE DOING WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY BE OCCUPIED WITH SJM I JUST WANNA TALKBut just as often as I was making myself laugh by making Rhys my YA fantasy version of Marilyn Manson I was being equally amused by seemingly innocuous lines Like when Eris scary villainabuser extraordinaire was bidding The Night Gang adieu and said “See you at the meeting in twelve days” I MEAN WHAT WHO SPEAKS LIKE THAT Even dialogue is just an opportunity to force an info dump You guys seriously this book is so poorly writtenLET’S SCREAM ABOUT DUMB THINGSSometimes or most of the time depending on how you look at it I do not want to laugh at the dumb things Sometimes I am incapable of it because this book is an ungodly length and so much of it is long term stupidityChapter 45 for example Or as I like to call it “That Meeting in Twelve Days Finally Happens” Yes this book is so boring that we are expected to anticipate an actual literal meeting Sure it’s a meeting between high lords to talk about war but it’s still a sit down political discussion And also it’s just the same endless repetitive cycle of insult dialogue feat fun moments of The Night Gang being the least convincing people on the entirety of the EarthThere’s an especially great moment in that adrenaline inducing conference For the 800 pages leading up to it Rhys is all “Ok Feyre Listen up Number one thing just don’t show your powers k? Long story short the Powerful Men are going to get pissy and thenwell y’know these negotiations are the most important thing to happen in hundreds of years which I should know because I’ve been alive for that long even though you’re what fresh outta adolescence? Anyway just the only thing you should do is not show your powers” To which Feyre’s response is “Got it shows powers instantly”YES Feyre shows her powers at the meeting So quickly She doesn’t even try all that hard and as promised it almost derails the nonstop excitement of this much anticipated civilized forum Almost Except then everything works out as it always does by Feyre saying something totally normal 610 at best and everyone being like “wow omgwho is this girlshe is so smart and brave and honest and we respect her so much” so that Rhys can be like “that’s my mate lol”IRRELEVANT COMPLAININGThe only way to make the experience of reading a deeply unpleasant extremely long book worse is to publish that book with goddamn tissue paper pages This was like reading the Bible but without the action And with a whole lot smutI’m tucking this quote in this section too because I don’t know if I’m being persnickety but at one point it’s said that “Only a madman would wield the might of his army just to get revenge on three women” And my question is why use the word “women”? Why not “people”? Is it insane if it’s women? Why is that? TELL ME WHY REALLY I JUST WANNA TALKPLOTLINE? WHAT PLOTLINEThis book is justso boringThere are countless info dumps which I mean There’s no excuse for that in a third book This was going to be the last book in the series when there was still hope in the world and I prayed that somehow SJM actually was writing these books for some sort of artistic fulfillment rather than money How I ask you would there still be so much shtty worldbuilding in the last book in a series?OH YES THIS BOOK IS DEFINITELY WOKE AND NOT THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF THAT ENTIRELYSJM has been getting a lot of sht lately for her whitestraightcis narratives So it’s no surprise that she would try to get those pesky activists off her back this time Unfortunately she does a remarkably bad jobThis book is all straight people except for LGBT relationships based on sex alone or in an unequal relationship wherein one person has authority over another Examples a high lord whose bisexuality extends purely to the fact that he’s into threesomes a military captain dating his high lordcommanderbossPlus there’s bisexuality rep so terrible it took me hours to make it through a handful of pages But that gets a category of its ownI also shouldn’t be surprised at the redemption of abusers in this book Because Tamlin in ACOTAR was just a Nice Guy Fine But the fangirls loved a certain bad boy guest star with purple eyes So instead of creating a love triangle or transitioning between love interests like a normal person SJM made him into an actual abuser A villain That’s also fine But you can’t just redeem him like you could redeem the unloved side of a love triangle Because you made him into a genuinely bad personUnfortunately SJM must have missed that memo She must have missed it three times actually because Eris also gets redemption and a throne As does his enabler brother Lucien Wonderful Abuse apologists for the winBut this book is totally definitely feminist right??? I mean female protagonist War plotline It must be by default So when Cassian says “I told you that the moment we started letting females into our group they’d be nothing but trouble” and woke king Rhys responds “You actually said you needed a reprieve from staring at our ugly faces and that some ladies would add some much needed prettiness for you to look at all day” it’s totally fineSo it’s an utter shock that this narrative also lives nearly entirely within the bounds of gender roles Reading about men Rhys Cassian Azriel all the high lords fighting in battle while the women Feyre Mor Elain Nesta Cresseida watch and tend to the wounded later is so refreshing Doesn’t make me want to blow my brains out at allAnd no Mor being assigned to babysit Feyre later on only heading into battle because Feyre tricks her into fighting so she can sneak away does not make it better thanksThis is definitely certainly the feminist YA fantasy you’ve been waiting for folksTHE WORST BI REP EVER TO HIT THE SHELVES WHICH IS INSANE BECAUSE WHEN IS THERE E V E R GOOD BI REPBut I haven’t mentioned the most unforgivable thing yet The thing that made this book my first SJM one star after giving every other book I’ve read by her two stars The thing that actually made me feel real hatred and fury and worst of all sadnessTruly the worst bisexual representation I have ever read comes in the final chapters of this book I’ve read a lot of bad bisexual rep And it’s endlessly upsetting But none of it felt quite like this Apparently Sarah J Maas decided in the third book that she wanted to stop getting sht for her heteronormativity So she decided to take a character who had been established as straight and make her biSo she took this character Morrigan She makes Morrigan cry She writes Morrigan’s impassioned speech to Feyre This is Morrigan’s coming out for the first time Morrigan says that she prefers women To the point that she is only capable of feeling romantic love for a womenBut occasionally she will force herself to sleep with a man In order “to keep people from looking too closely” Instead of telling the man who has been in love with her for centuries that she doesn’t love him back won’t ever love him back she forces herself to sleep with men when he’ll know that she’s done it so that she still seems straight but he’ll know she doesn’t love himAnd the author dubs it bisexualityI hate that she felt entitled to use this underrepresented misunderstood sexuality as a playing piece in her own quest to be well liked I hate that the hundreds of thousands of people who read this book have been given this depiction of bisexuality And I hate that Sarah J Maas will keep writing wildly successful books Books in this very series depicting this character in this way and calling it “bisexuality”It’s unfair It’s awful And I am never never never going to forget that it happenedBottom line I didn’t expect to like this book But I also didn’t expect it would become one of my least favorite books I’ve ever read pre reviewI did itEveryone told me I couldn't do it Just DNF it they said You're being insane they said Why would you force yourself through 700 pages of misery? Actually didn't you hate the second book? Why did you even pick up the third book you fcking fool?And you know what? They were right because that was stupidBut also THEY WERE WRONG because I FINISHED THIS GODDAMN NIGHTMARE OF A NOVELIt may have taken me eight months But it's overReview of a lifetime to come currently reading updatesTHIS MONTH IS THE MONTH WHEN I FINISH THIS BOOK 150 pages in and already bored as hellCauldron help me make it through