in honor of me seeing the movie early and then seeing it again on a cheesy movie date THE BEST MOMENTS OF THIS BOOK, NEW AND IMPROVED Simon putting Martin in his phone as monkey s asshole I can t believe mom, pick me up, kids are drinking alcohol isn t in the book the Drarry fanfiction summer there are some socks that shouldn t be washed by your mom the suck and dick nice weather typo, and Blue subsequently bringing it up, like, eight times the unfortunately correct representation of what high school theater is like thoughts and prayers appreciatedWhat s a dementor she asks.I mean, I can t even Nora, you are no longer my sister So it s some Harry Potter thingthe entire chapter where Simon drinks a beerI take a sip of my beer, and it s I mean, it s just astonishingly disgusting I don t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this I honestly think I d rather make out with Bieber The dog Or Justin.Anyway, it really makes you worry about all the hype surrounding sexthanks Simon this is the best quote I ve read in my damn life Simon going on a rant about all the different places they came from and how they all got here and Abby replying with slavery, in my case I still think Abby and Leah should have ended up together, especially after that one line about how they really were just trying to impress each other why was that there if they re both Really Straight bi Leah theory is real and i m so glad Becky agrees with me I cant believe the post presidency Barack Obama joke wasn t in the book because that was fucking awesome all of Simon s email titles especially Reese s are better than sex Maybe you should stop having heterosexual sex Blue being an asshole and attaching a picture of a Reese s to an email Partying harder than Blue s mom since 2014 Wednesday is gender bender day, which basically amounts to Southern straight people cross dressing. Simon thinking Blue dressing up like a cheerleader is cute, one chapter after they sarcastically intone the concept of ogling cheerleaders I am literally not joking, that actually happens in this book and it took me FOUR REREADS to notice it that is the most next level foreshadowing I have ever seen in my whole fucking life Leah dressing extra feminine to protest gender bender daybeing secure in your masculinity isn t the same as being straightsomebody finally fucking said it Leah s birthday haiku for Simon le fuck When Blue calls Simon cute and grammatical and Simon calls him that back wow I love loveor we could do things other than talking I mean, I m just sayingSimon being a smooth bitch did we all just forget that Simon ran a tumblr called Passion Pit OBSESSION the part where Simon and Blue touch hands oh my godI m glad you find me distracting It wouldn t be fair otherwiseBlue being a smooth bitch Simon stealing Leah s cut your eyes to the side strategy and using it on Martin Simon giving into the Martin thing and immediately internal monologuing I hate myself I hate myself is the most relatable content Abby replying to Martin hitting on her with I do like waffles that s why I got them hashtag roasted Blue s dad getting him a book by Casanovathe fact that Blue says as you would say, freaking Casanova and Simon immediately replies with FREAKING CASANOVA that s so pure Blue being turned on by Simon s sentence fragmentswho are all these cute guys that make you so nervous you better not love THEIR sentence fragmentsTHE FACT THAT WE VE ALREADY SEEN BRAM FREEZE UP AROUND SIMON IN REAL LIFE AAAAAAAH Martin singing at the Waffle House How sweet and soft Abby is after Simon comes out she freaking,, has him pull over and is so nice Everything Abby does in this whole bookshe didn t seem to believe me when I told her I m not sexually active, so I guess that s flatteringSimon calling his future inlawsMs Every Time Including Oral and Mr Let s Read About Freaking Casanovaall the conversations about letting the walls down in this book are so freaking relatable it really does feel like there s no going back once you tell one person and I m so impressed that Becky Albertalli managed to get that down THE ENTIRETY OF PAGE 129 a sopho snuck into the chem lab and got his junk stuck in a beaker Taylor gettingcharacterization than basic mean girl make her Leah s love interest in Leah on the Offbeat I beg and pray Blue slipping a joke about how good Simon is at distracting him into his Upset MonologueIt s like he s our age telling his parents he knocked someone up Which is totally the straight person equivalent of coming outSimon being a freaking savage I don t know about you but I can t read the why is straight the default paragraph without thinking about OH GOD HELP ME JESUS from the movie and Blue replying with the Homosexual Agenda I m freaking crying You have me curious Banana Hot dog Cucumber a real thing Simon actually typed and sent More like a giant baguette a real thing Blue actually typed and sent I love your giant baguette a real thing Simon actually typed and sent Simon calling Blue my Jewish Episcopalian email boyfriend in his internal monologue the fact that Nick likes to talk about social media as a vehicle for constructing and performing identity a mess Whatever the hell that means SimonWho would post something like that Someone who doesn t know that anal buttsex is redundantI m pregnant the fucking smiley face on page 171 Simon calling Target an office supply Justice Leagueone girl even confirms that Jesus still loves meHERE IT IS GUYS THE MOST ICONIC AND RELATABLE LINE FROM THIS WHOLE BOOKI m just so sick of straight people who can t get their shit togetherthe fact that Simon says this about Bram, the most heterosexual of straights, the straightest, just call him Straighty McHetero AUDITIONS SIMON CALLING BRAM CUTE WOW IF PAGE 195 AINT A PAGE also Simon s entire arc means the fucking world to me and I am so proud of him why does Simon get drunk so much in this book the Elliot Smith shirt Simon trying to crank Sufjan Stevens and it going about as well as you could expect the NOTE IN THE SHIRT ALL OF THE FERRIS WHEEL SCENE PAGE TWO SIXTY SIX TO TWO SIXTY EIGHT IN THE US HARDCOVER EDITION WOW LOVE IS REALBram s gone too how strangeAbby being a savage you re THE cute guy BRAM BEING THE MOST ROMANTIC SHOUT OUT OUR ANNIVERSARY EVERY WEEK Bram s dad using Casanova being bisexual as a reply to him coming out the fact that a 2015 bestselling YA novel used the word bisexual twice and it s 2018 and I still feel like I have to recognize that the happy two day anniversary text don t you dare cry what no way has a full breakdown WHY WOULD I WANT TO WATCH OTHER PEOPLE KISSING WHEN I COULD BE KISSING YOUaaaaaaanddddddd most importantly in case you wanted one, here is a catalogue of every time They interact within this story and it is validthat s all, folks, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk please read this book it s eight levels of purity, cleansed my soul, and made me into the lesbian I am today also I technically read most of it from 4 am to 6 am on Jan 18 because priorities, and if that s not an endorsement, what iselise nitpicks her faves Nick is lowkey there for added heterosexual romance drama, there is a reference to coming out being easier for gay girls that I think is an oversimplistification, and that is literally it I do my best to criticize things but my guy sometimes you just gotta accept masterpieces for what they areBlog Goodreads Twitter Youtube Sixteen Year Old And Not So Openly Gay Simon Spier Prefers To Save His Drama For The School Musical But When An Email Falls Into The Wrong Hands, His Secret Is At Risk Of Being Thrust Into The Spotlight Now Simon Is Actually Being Blackmailed If He Doesn T Play Wingman For Class Clown Martin, His Sexual Identity Will Become Everyone S Business Worse, The Privacy Of Blue, The Pen Name Of The Boy He S Been Emailing, Will Be CompromisedWith Some Messy Dynamics Emerging In His Once Tight Knit Group Of Friends, And His Email Correspondence With Blue Growing Flirtatious Every Day, Simon S Junior Year Has Suddenly Gotten All Kinds Of Complicated Now, Change Averse Simon Has To Find A Way To Step Out Of His Comfort Zone Before He S Pushed Out Without Alienating His Friends, Compromising Himself, Or Fumbling A Shot At Happiness With The Most Confusing, Adorable Guy He S Never Met Oh okay, you I told you so people You were right This book is so much fun that I baked cookies and listened to unfortunate nineties pop music No, really.And I seriously didn t want to read this I mean, why would I I don t particularly like cutesy romances, LGBT or not The cover is kinda sucky and not attractive The title is an inside joke that only makes sense after reading the book And, let s be honest, it s always easier to convince me to read books with phrases like mind bending twist , dark secrets and twisted characters The word cute doesn t draw me in.But I finally took a chance on it and I concede this book is wonderful Just so so entertaining from start to finish I actually snorted aloud like the sexy beast I am at some of the hilarious scenes between Simon and his friends Simon is that perfect mix of delightfully weird and totally normal he makes us laugh and roll our eyes, but we secretly recognize many of the things he thinks.I giggled so much at scenes like this I take a sip of my beer, and it s I mean, it s just astonishingly disgusting I don t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this I honestly think I d rather make out with Bieber The dog Or Justin.Anyway, it really makes you worry about all the hype surrounding sex.A few minutes laterSimon, how much did you drink asks Leah I m twisting the ends of her hair Leah s hair is so pretty, and it smells exactly like French toast Except that s Abby Leah smells like almonds One beer One most excellent, most delicious beer One beer I can t even begin to express how ridiculous you are I know this sounds extremely lame but this book genuinely made me happy It doesn t hesitate to portray the reality of homophobia in a high school in the South, but it s ultimately such an uplifting story about friendship, family and the sweetest romance I may ever have read You can read hundreds, perhaps thousands, of books about the difficulties of dealing with your sexuality and coming out like the dark and powerful More Happy Than Not and these are very important, but it was so refreshing to see a warm, fuzzy gay romance where the protagonist is supported by his friends and family.Very funny and heart warming.Blog Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr Original Review December 2013 If Becky wasn t a gay teenage boy with good grammar and a foul mouth in several past lives, then she s absolutely one of the most observant writers in the YA game.New Review June 2017 Just finished my third or fourth reread of SIMON VS., this time on audio which is narrated by the amazing Michael Crouch, and wow, I love this bookeach time I m 27 right now and SIMON remains the book I wish I had 10 years ago. This was a great read Simon is a hilarious character and I loved reading through his perspective I also liked that the story didn t just end right after the climax and how we got to see what happened past the big moment of the story. Read for Popsugar s 2018 Reading Challenge 12 A Book with an LGBTQ ProtagonistI m trying to spendtime this year re reading some of my favorite books, and this was a great start I actually listened to it on audiobook this time around, and the narration was amazing No complaints Also I m SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR THE MOVIE first read in 2015THIS BOOK IS WONDERFUL.If a story about a cynical gay Harry Potter fan falling in love with somebody from the inside out sounds appealing to you, do yourself a favor and pick this up when it comes out in April. Awesome Video review to come. This book was so damn cute and extremely sweet and incredibly adorable XDIt tasted like a hot cup of coffee in early spring,it felt like warm summer rain caressing your skin, it was as beautiful as a colourful sunrise in September and it smelled like a clear night sky in the middle of a cold winter night In short It gave me all those awesome fluffy, cozy and happy feels I loved everything about Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda From the bands and the music that was mentioned throughout the entire book right up to the Harry Potter and Fruits Basket references And OMG Simon s and Blue s mails Gosh they were so damn cute, they were argh I can t even say how much I loved those two This book was just marvellous and as a Fangirl I really felt like I finally arrived in seventh heaven lolI have to admit I like to imagine you as a kid fantasizing about junk food I also like to imagine you now fantasizing about sex I can t believe I just wrote that I can t believe I m hitting send.I began to read this book and at some point realised that I couldn t stop any The mystery about Blue s true identity pushed me to read on and even though I had my suspicions I still found great pleasure in collecting the hints and trying to make some assumptions XD I ve to admit that this book got me hooked and I m not ashamed to confess that I actually loved every second of it PWhy is straight the default Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it shouldn t be this big awkward thing whether you re straight, gay, bi, or whatever I m just saying So yeah, now that I got this off my chest, I finally should be able to write my actual review The Plot Simon is sixteen years old and has a huge secret He s gay and he s flirting with a guy who calls himself Blue and isthan just adorable Well, that s Simon s opinion and I ve to confess that I agree He s really damn cute XD Anyway, Simon has never met Blue in real life and all they have ever done was to write very personal e mails, personal e mails that unfortunately end up in the wrong hands Martin, a classmate of Simon accidentally stumbles upon them and since he has a huge crush on one of Simon s friends, he decides to use them as leverage to force Simon to help him Martin wants a date with Abby and if Simon doesn t assist him, he s going to out him to the whole world What a mess XDThe Characters Spoiler alert You may stop here or continue to read at your own risk SimonSo here s the thing Simon means the one who hears and Spier means the one who watches Which means I was basically destined to be nosy.I loved, loved, loved and adored Simon Gosh that boy is such a precious cutiepie He s funny and he s refreshingly honest well except of his little secret of course I could understand him so well and I think in some way I found myself in him I mean Simon and I have a lot in common and I guess that s probably the reason why I liked him so much XD I hated that other people made him feel so insecure and I could understand his wish to get to know Blue in real life Jeez I was at the same point when I got to know my husband and it was so damn easy for me to relate to Simon s struggle Still, no matter what happened to him, he always stood his ground and I truly loved him for it Simon is so brave and I swear when he told Martin his opinion about his post on Tumblr I was all like YEAH Damn right, tell him what he did XDAnd you know what You don t get to say it s not a big thing This is a big fucking thing, okay This was supposed to be this is mine I m supposed to decide when and where and who knows and how I want to say it Suddenly, my throat gets thick So, yeah, you took that away from me And then you brought Blue into it Seriously You fucking suck, Martin I mean, I don t even want to look at you Still, it hurt to know that Blue was too shy to show himself and the fact Simon was so down made me sad as well Gosh I think Simon actually is the most relatable character I ever had the pleasure to encounter lol Everything he thought and did affected me so deeply XDAnd I swear the moment Blue found out about Simon s identity just took my breath awayJacques a dit Right I was all like OH MY GOD It was kind of unfair though I mean Blue obviously knew who Simon was, but Simon actually had no clue who Blue might be XD What made it even worse, was that he didn t even know if his feelings were reciprocated, because they actually stopped to write mails right after Simon s identity was revealed Oh my poor Simon It was so painful to readObviously, I don t know what the hell I m doing here, but what I m trying to say is that I like you Ithan like you When I flirt with you, it s not a joke, and when I say I want to know you, it s not just because I m curious I m not going to pretend I know how this ends, and I don t have a freaking clue if it s possible to fall in love over email But I would really like to meet you, Blue I want to try this And I can t imagine a scenario where I won t want to kiss your face off as soon as I see you Just wanted to make that perfectly clear This scene resonated so much with me I actually once wrote a pretty similar mail as well lol BlueI completely understand what you mean about feeling locked into yourself For me, I don t even think it has anything to do with other people thinking they know me It sthat I want to leap in and say certain things and do certain things, but I always seem to hold myself back I think a big part of me is afraid Oh Blue, he was so insecure and shy and somehow this only made him evenadorable There were moments when he was so brave and then all of a sudden he was too intimidated by Simon s mails to even give him his number XD Blue had his own struggles to deal with and just too see how much those two tried to support each other and the way they fell in love OMG It was just too much lol I loved so many things about Blue His correct grammar, the way he expressed himself and the words he used It was obvious he was a smart kid and lol I guess deep down within me I already knew who was behind his nickname P I needed to read it though LOLAnd I do think you re cute You re absurdly cute I think I spend a little too much time thinking how adorable you are in emails and trying to translate that into a viable mental image for daydreams and the like. And the like Haha oh boy did that one sentence mess with Simon s head Truth be told, I wouldn t have reacted any different, though See, once again a moment where I could relate to Simon s POV XDP.S I love the way you smile like you don t realize you re doing it I love your perpetual bed head I love the way you hold eye contact a moment longer than you need to And I love your moon gray eyes So if you think I m not attracted to you, Simon, you re crazy Awww just Aww I melted when I read that note and to think Simon found it so late and didn t even know it was there Holy moly It killed me lol Martin I didn t like him Yes, I know he apologised in the end but damn what he did was just soo freaking mean and horrible I mean he outed Simon on Christmas Who would ever do such a thing My poor Simon had to deal with all this on a day that s supposed to be one of the nicest of the entire year And this just because a stupid oaf called Martin had a crush on his friend Abby and couldn t accept that she wasn t interested in him I mean ARGH That boy didn t even think twice about the consequences his actions would entail And yesh, there were plenty of consequences for poor Simon Simon s friendsBut I ve known Leah since sixth grade, and Nick since we were four And this gay thing It feels so big It s almost insurmountable I don t know how to tell them something like this and still come out of it feeling like Simon Because if Leah and Nick don t recognize me, I don t even recognize myself any They were amazing Sure, sometimes I was angry with them because they didn t understand Simon s situation and thought everything was about them I mean I understand why Abby was pissed but seriously, what was Simon supposed to do He couldn t really tell her that he was blackmailed by Martin and in the end nothing of what Simon did actually had any consequences for her She chose Nick and Martin as well as Leah had to accept it Period And Leah I know she felt left out, but it wasn t like Simon could have done anything to stop Nick and Abby falling in love lol I mean alone the thought is kind of ridiculous XDStill, no matter their feelings, they always stood up for Simon and I think that s the important thing You quarrel with your friends because you love them and when it comes down to it they re always there for youDid you just tell us you re gay asks Nick Yes Okay, he says Abby swats him What That s all you re going to say Okay He said not to make a big deal out of it, Nick says What am I supposed to say Say something supportive I don t know Or awkwardly hold his hand like I did Anything Nick and I look at each other I m not holding your hand, I tell him, smiling a little All right he nods but know that I would Simon s familyMy dad invented the concept of Simon logic, and I can t seem to outgrow it It means whishful thinking supported by flimsy evidence I loved how they interacted with each other They were so open and amazing and I had to laugh about their strange family habits I mean alone the idea of scavenger hunting on Facebook That was hilarious lol To be a guest in their house certainly would have been funny as hell XD And the way Simon outed himself to his family Haha it was priceless Sure his father made many jokes but in the end he still loved his son and he felt sorry for being so oblivious and careless Alice and Nora were darlings and I guess to have two sisters like that is actuallythan just a blessingWell, I m just going to put this out there, in case the message got lost somewhere I love you A lot No matter what And I know it s got to be awesome having the cool dad Ahem, says my mom Excuse me The cool parents The hardcore, badass, hipster parents Oh, it s awesome, I say But rein us in if you need to, okay Rein me in, he says He rubs his chin I know I didn t make it easy for you to come out We re very proud of you You re pretty brave, kid And the ending It was perfect I was so happy I grinned like a Cheshire Cat I just couldn t stop LOL Gah, it was so cute and adorable and the way Blue finally made his appearance I think I actually died XDThe way I feel about him is like a heartbeat soft and persistent, underlying everything If you haven t read Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda , you definitely should do it now Drop everything you re reading because Simon definitely will bring happiness into your life Just allow yourself to be enchanted XD 4.3 5 Stars Why is straight the default Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it shouldn t be this big awkward thing whether you re straight, gay, bi, or whatever I m just saying Look, this book started very slow for me And I was very very hyped for it, for obvious reasons Everyone has been talking about it for months, everyone is crying about it for months, there is a fucking movie about it, I mean, come on, I had high hopes But for the first 150 pages I was a bit let down I didn t feel the characters, the dialogue didn t speak to me, the pace wasn t the best, I expectedBut now let s talk about the last 150 pages, which I read in one sitting and finished the book.This book follows Simon, a gay 16 year old teenager, who has been hiding his sexuality from the world for several years When someone called Blue posts anonymously on the school s Tumblr blog about his sexuality, Simon finds his one true love Their relationship will grow via email, but a goofy guy named Martin will jeopardize it after finding these emails and screenshotting them to blackmail Simon into hooking him up with one of his best friends, Abby, or else he ll out him What will he do Will love prevail Will his best friends stand by him when he needs it the most What will the world say Now, as I promised, let s talk about the last 150 pages The pace quickened, lots of real shit was happening, I couldn t leave the book down I was pleasantly surprised, because the first half of the book didn t do me much, the characters felt too one dimensional for some reason, but oh man how I feel now This book did an amazing job at not making Blue s identity obvious I was confused till the last minute The relationship between Simon and Blue was magnificent, their little jokes, their innuendos, their understanding of each other s situations, made them so real I WANT A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT PLEASE LIFE.Now, let s talk about Simon s close people His parents, for a start FUCKING EPIC I don t know if parents like that exist anywhere but I want to be like them I want to be as cool as them when I have kids So strict parents, listen up Loose and happy parents who let their kids live their lives, make happy children I have lived through situations with friends of mine with strict parents and they end up badly LET YOUR KIDS LIVE DAMN IT YOU ALL WILL BE HAPPIER IN THE END Anyway Let s talk about his closest friends, Leah, Nick and Abby At the beginning I didn t even remember their names For real But then I totally fell in love with them Especially Leah And the fact that there is a book about her MAKES ME SO HAPPY I HAVE ALREADY ORDERED IT She deserves the fucking spotlight His friends were so supportive of him and it showed so much in the book Everyone wants friends like this Simon, you re so fucking lucky I envy the shit out of you But you deserve these friends Cause you re an amazing cool bitch.I believe this book did an amazing job with the LGBTQI themes I m not gay myself to understand the situations and the feelings throughout the process, but this book did good And now I understand its popularity I also enjoyed the diversity in race Abby, Nick, Bram amazing ALSO TWO BISEXUAL CHARACTERS FUCK YES THIS WORLD NEEDS THE REPRESENTATION Right after I finished the book, I watched the movie I was pretty pretty excited cause I had so many feels after the book ended And I had heard such positive reviews about the movie adaptation, so I stayed up late to watch it And I have to say this I HAVEN T SEEN A MOVIE COMING FROM A BOOK THAT S SO DIFFERENT FROM THE BOOK BUT YET IN ITS OWN WAY AMAZING Seriously, I won t even begin to name the differences, but they were so many it would takes hours And I thought I would hate that, but it actually made the movieof its own It added something to it I don t know how to explain it, but I loved the book and the movie alike For different reasons each And I m so happy I picked up this book after so long and discovered the movie as well In conclusion, I loved this fucking book to pieces It s not in my favorites self, but it will keep a special place in my heart and I will remember it for a long time to come I m so happy I get to live inside the Simon universe for another book I can t wait for my order for Leah on the Offbeat to come I hear Simon appears too FUCK YEAH MAN MY BOIIIIII So till the next one K BYE This review contains spoilers.If you love Oreos or waffles, boys kissing, and overall cuteness then please read this wonderful story, I promise that you won t be disappointed.This is the kind of book that I had to read in one sitting while eating the best snacks and listening to my current favorite song because it was just fun fun fun.I m still in a happy daze.Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda follows sixteen year old and not so openly gay Simon Spier, who prefers to save his drama for the school musical But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlightI actually think people would be cool about it, Martin says You should be who you are I don t even know where to begin with that Some straight kid who barely knows me, advising me on coming out I kind of have to roll my eyes Fun fact I actually started this book a while back, but I absolutely hated Martin and I got so mad at his character that I had to put it down, and then I never picked it back up unfortunately soDid you did you take a screenshot or something Well, he says, I wanted to talk to you about that Sorry you took a fucking screenshot He purses his lips together and stares over my shoulder Anyway, he says, I know you re friends with Abby Suso, so I wanted to ask Seriously Or maybe we could go back to you telling me why you took a screenshot of my emails He pauses I mean, I guess I m wondering if you want to help me talk to Abby Seriously, why did he think that was okay in any way And Simon kept describing Martin as a goofy kid that everyone in their school loves, but Martin has some serious issues and needs to take a huge step back to reevaluate his life choices.I meanAnd then she looks up at me with raised eyebrows and a perfectly round mouth, and I can t help but laugh That was so bitchy of me I can t believe I said that It was super bitchy, I say You re like a stealth bitch What did you call her asks Martin.I swear to God, that kid pops up out of nowhere and burrows into every conversation It s okay, Marty We re just messing around, says Abby Yeah, well, he called you a bitch I really don t think that s okay Says the guy blackmailing a kid to help him date someone.I seriously despised him And after some time he, funnily enough, started reminding me of Gabe from The Office remember when Gabe started obsessing over Erin That s how Martin sounded like when he talked about Abby.I m sorry, but I just can t get over how uncomfortable he made me.I feel like I need to go listen to some really relaxing music because Martin s got me all riled up.And maybe I shouldn t admit this, but I was rooting for him to have a horrible ending The way he handled Abby s rejection was just completely disgusting.To quote Simon, Martin is the biggest, most cavernous gaping asshole who ever lived And Martin s email at the end pissed me off evenBut on a muchpositive note, Blue Bram and Simon were socute and grammaticalI can t believe Bram Greenfeld dressed up Bram from my lunch table He s this quiet black kid who s supposed to be really smart, but I ve never heard him speak unless he s forced to He leans way back into the corner of the couch, shuffling the toe of one foot against the other, and I never noticed it before, but he s actually kind of adorable Subtle foreshadowing I love it.It was an absolute delight seeing Bram and Simon together at the start because SIMON HAD NO IDEANo fucking thank you, Abby, Leah says, in this sickeningly pleasant tone Except her eyes are like crackling fireballs of rage She stands up abruptly, pushing her chair in without a word.As soon as she leaves, Garrett looks at Bram, and Bram bites his lip Which I m pretty sure is straight dude code for Bram likes Leah.And I don t know why, but it pisses me the fuck off Little do you knowForeshadowing in books usually gives me too much anxiety, but because I spoiled the ending for myself I couldn t handle the not knowing the first time I started this book , I was just smiling throughout my whole reading experienceFor one thing, both Garrett and Bram have been totally cool about the gay thing all day, which I guess I didn t expect from a bunch of athletes.Also, Bram is cute Like, really, really cute He stands a foot or so back from the fence, totally sweaty, with a white turtleneck under his soccer shirt And he s not really talking, but he has very expressive brown eyes And light brown skin and soft dark curls and cute, knobbly hands They are too cute.Also, I loved Ms Albright, she s moderately badass for a teacher I can t remember the last time I enjoyed reading about a teacher in a book But she was definitely a pleasant surpriseThen she walks over to me and squats down in front of my platform You okay, Simon I feel myself blush a little bit I m fine Okay, well, she says quietly Just know that those assholes are getting suspended I m not even kidding I will make it my hill to die on YES Also also, I love emails in books so the interactions between Blue and Jacques were absolutely delightful their emails about middle school memories still make me laughHonestly, though I think the real reason I had girlfriends was because I didn t one hundred percent believe I was gay Or maybe I didn t think it was permanent.I know you re probably thinking Okaaaaaaay JacquesFROM bluegreen118 gmail.comTO hourtohour.notetonote gmail.comDATE Oct 19 at 8 01 AMSUBJECT The obligatory .Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy Eyebrows, butthole mouth, etc Blue Seriously, the cast of characters in this book were all so wonderful.And there was this one part with Leah that cracks me up every single timeAnd Leah s also into slash fanfiction, which got me curious enough to poke around the internet and find some last summer I couldn t believe how much there was to choose from Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy hooking up in thousands of ways in every broom closet at Hogwarts I found the ones with decent grammar and stayed up reading all night It was a weird couple of weeks That was the summer I taught myself how to do laundry There are some socks that shouldn t be washed by your mom I seriously laughed out loud And the email parts of this book kind of reminded me of A Cinderella Story and their interactionsAnd then someone slides in beside me Can I sit here he asks, and my eyes snap open.It s Cute Bram Greenfeld, of the soft eyes and soccer calves.I loosen the seat belt to let him in And I smile at him It s impossible not to I like your shirt, he says He seems nervous Thanks, I say It s Elliott Smith I m kind of hardcore grinning right now.I m really glad that we got to see those two get together and that it didn t end right there But I was expecting for the book to have 10pages, so when I turned the last page in chapter 35 and saw Acknowledgments written, I was so let down And this particular situation has happened so many times, but it still gets me every single time This story was just so good and I m truly happy that I gave it a second chance.Also, I m really pleased that Martin didn t get a happy endingNote I m anAffiliate If you re interested in buying Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda, just click on the image below to go through my link I ll make a small commissionSupport creators you love Buy a Coffee for nat bookspoils with This review andcan be found on my blog.